A Major Conspiracy Revealed
The other day during a typical walk (you know left foot forward, right foot forward, then repeat), Rebecca and I were talking about popcorn and what a wonderful healthy snack it is. Rebecca pulled from the random facts in her mind the knowledge that popcorn is a whole grain. We looked it up online when we got home and sure enough it is a whole grain. I like that idea that I can guiltlessly eat popcorn with the idea that it is good for my body. There are some other interesting fact about popcorn. The Native Americans (we also know them as Lamanites–if you don’t know what that name is then let’s talk) believed that the popping sound was that of an angry god escaping from the kernel. Nutritionally popcorn is naturally high in fiber, low in calories and fat, contains no sodium, and is sugar free. Rock on for popcorn. We also have a cute post on our blog with Brooke experiencing popcorn popping. It you haven’t seen it check it out here.
But wait! I don’t get it. Farmers plant corn, the corn grows, the farmer harvests the corn, we buy the corn, we cook the corn, we eat the corn, part of the corn comes out still intact, and we call that eating our vegetables. But when the farmer sells the corn to a popcorn factory and we pop that popcorn, then eat it, and it becomes a whole grain?
We have here some vegetables
But here we have whole grains
Does anybody else feel a little betrayed by this? I feel it may be a mind-control conspiracy. There are some very smart people in a bunker somewhere giggling like children about hoodwinking the American people by telling us that something that grew up as a vegetable can become a whole grain and we didn’t even notice. What other devious things are they giggling about? Did they come up with light is a wave and a particle? Because that one is pretty hard to understand.
This vegetable-grain plot is so mysterious that even Dan Brown hasn’t found out about it for one of his books. I think I should write to the one person who would understand and be sympathic to my theory–Jon Stewart.
Of course we should also consider the lessons we can draw from the popcorn:
1. You can be anything you want to be.
2. If you crack under heat, you come out just a little bit “different”.
3. If you are corn, you are more digestible as popcorn so pray that when you are harvested you will be sent to a popcorn factory.
4. Your dead body will bloat under the heat of the sun just like a kernel of popcorn in a popcorn popper.
5. Popcorn is popcorn and corn is just corn, so don’t over analyze it.
6. Dallas. Did you ever crack under the heat as mentioned in #2? Because after all of this conspiracy talk about popcorn you seem a little “different”.
7. This blog posting has about the same smell and consistency as corn remnants in one of Brooke’s more ripened diapers and as such should be wrapped up tightly in a plastic bag and thown away.
