He Said

Brooke (after a couple especially trying days where she was having a hard time getting along with siblings): “Don’t be surprised when you see a lot of improvements in my behavior around Christmas.”

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Madison: “Mom! I look just like Mickey Mouse!”

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Me: “Brooke, smile!”

Brooke: “Why?! So you can capture my embarrassment that I’m stuck up here and can’t get down?”

Apparently. And blog about it, too!

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This is more of something a kid does than says, but I’ll include it anyway. Apparently when I read books, I often use my thumb and pinkie to hold the book open. I have never realized that’s what I do until Madison started protesting anytime I situated my fingers any differently. Now when she’s reading books, every time she turns the page she has to take time to similarly hold the book with those same fingers in that same position:

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Spencer: “Madison, you’re a midget.”

Spencer’s friend: “Spencer! You can’t call her a midget! You’ll hurt her feelings!”

Caroline (matter-of-factly): “It’s okay. She doesn’t have feelings yet.”

Spencer was clinging to my leg and whining at me as I was trying to make lunch for the kids.  Caroline was nearby getting frustrated with his noise.

When she had had enough, she glared at Spencer and said, “Ugh, Spencer.  You’re too loud!”  Then she sighed and mumbled under her breath, “Miscreant.”

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Spencer stepped on one of the millions of pony toys we constantly have scattered throughout our living room.  He yelped, cried for a second, then ran over to me and said what Dallas and I say roughly 100 times a day when that happens to us, “That’s why we need to clean up our toys, girls!”

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Brooke was working on her homework.  Her teachers send home a packet with the entire week’s worth of homework to be returned on Friday.  One day Brooke was feeling especially productive and decided to complete her whole packet on the first day.  She was almost done and was getting pretty tired of writing.  I noticed that she had only written her spelling words twice when she was supposed to write them three times.

Me:  “Brooke, you need to write your words one more time each.  If you’re too tired you can save it for tomorrow since you’ve already been working so hard today.”

Brooke (sighing):  “Well, I might crab if I have to do it tomorrow.  I don’t want to hear my own crabbing so I’m just going to do it now.”

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I got the girls’ Halloween costumes at the end of September.  They loved wearing them around the house.  The next day we were headed to my mom’s house.

Caroline:  “I’m going to wear my costume to show Grandma!”

Brooke:  “Me too!”

Me:  “Sometimes Grandma likes to be surprised by your costumes on Halloween.  Do you want to save them for a surprise?”

Brooke: “Well, Grandmas are kind of old and I think if she sees our costumes today she’ll forget what they are by the time Halloween comes.”

The peril of having two girls and then a boy is that sometimes things like this happen.

Me (while holding Spencer):  “I love my little girl!”

Spencer (indignantly):  “Hey!  I’m not a girl!”

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I was at my parents’ house and needed my mom so I yelled, “Mother?”

Spencer said, “Daughter?”

(This made me laugh because that’s always my mom’s response when I call for her.  Amazing the things these little kids pick up on.)

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Spencer was being especially annoying at church trying to escape our pew.  When he realized he couldn’t just barrel his way past us he decided to try smooth-talking.

Spencer:  “I have to leave now.  Be right back.”

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Spencer ate something spicy at dinner.

Spencer (in between gulps of water):  “Mom!  Mom!  My mouth is biting me!”

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Spencer has taken a liking to describing things by color.  For example, “I see a red tractor.” “I have my blue spoon.” “I want a green cup.”  This has the potential to be pretty cute but he is never, ever accurate with his color descriptions.

Until one day.

Spencer: “Mom!  I have a yellow car!”

Me:  “YES!  YES!  That IS a yellow car!  You said the right color!”

Spencer (beaming):  “Yes!  See!  It’s my green car!”

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We borrowed my parents’ car while our van was in the shop.  Caroline was thrilled to discover she could open the car door by herself.  She opened the door every chance she could including one time when I was driving on the freeway.

Me:  “Aaaaahhhhh!  Caroline!  Close the door!  Why did you open your door?!”

Caroline (innocently):  “I just wanted to feel the wind.”

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We took the kids roller skating.  Dallas went around the rink a couple of times with Brooke.  Then he dropped her off with me and took Caroline.  Brooke, obviously realizing roller skating was harder than she was anticipating said, “Mom!  It was too hard!  Dad took me out there without even giving me any training!”

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Brooke:  “I thought they were big puddles, but it’s not.”

Caroline (incredulously):  “Big puddles of SNOT?!”